1. No touching before marriage:
In the days of strict Confucianism, touching the skin of the opposite sex before marriage was considered either impolite or a sign of lust.
2. The matchmaker:
The matchmaker, usually a woman, arranged marriages years ago when men and women were forbidden to mix socially. She would organise meetings between the two families to promote understanding before arranging the marriage itself.
3. To hong- The pink thread of marriage:
Legend has it that a celestial elder used pink threads to tie men and women into couples for marriage. The word "tcf hong" has become synonymous with "marriage."
4. "Husband-and-wife" cake.
This is a square, green cake made from cassava flour, sugar, shredded coconut, green peas, and spices. Symbolising happiness, the cake remains one of the traditional wedding presents the groom's family offers to the family of the bride.
5. Cheo.
Cheo was a small sum of money the groom's family offered the bride's village. The funds were spent on public works such as roads, public wells, and the village gates. The cheo custom has not been used for a long time.
6. Xin dau
Right before the bride was picked up, members of the groom's family brought a tray of betel quids and a pot of liquor to the bride's house to inform her family that the bridal procession was on its way. This custom insured that any final problems were discussed and solved before the bride moved to her husband's family.
7. The mother-in-law's reception of her new daughter.
In some localities, the groom's mother helped the bridegroom remove the bride's conical palm-leaf hat and give her a tour of her new quarters. In other localities, the mother-in-law took a pot of lime and hid in a neighbour's house for a few minutes to indicate that the bride was now the new owner of the house. This, however, was only a symbolic act, since the pot of lime was considered the goddess of the house. Thus, the real power remained in the mother-in-law's hands.
8. The bride's mother and her daughter.
In some localities, the mother of the bride was not customarily allowed to escort her daughter to the groom's house.
9. A hairpin or seven needles.
The bride's mother gave her daughter a hairpin or seven needles before the bride left for her new in-laws' house. If the husband swooned on the first night of conjugal life, his new wife could use the hairpin or needles to stimulate an acupuncture point behind his genitals.
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